


Starlit Skies

by Cas_tellations



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, bye have fun reading my thing, dogs?, ew no, i have 2 doggos, im in a weird mood idk what this is, it's gay thats what it is, lets talk about dogs, like me tbh, ok i'll go, the election?, their names are Cara and Pippi and they are the greatest things ever, um so yeah, what should i talk about in the tags, woooooooo i wrote something again, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-10
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:09:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8516203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_tellations/pseuds/Cas_tellations
Summary: ExistentialCrises!Dan x ReallyCuteAndAmazing!Phil(Basically, Dan's having an existential crises and his good ol' buddy pal friendo Philly helps him out)





	

**Author's Note:**

> HEY GUYS GUESS WHO WROTE YET ANOTHER ONESHOT INSTEAD OF RE-WRITING THE 10K ONESHOT THAT I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED AND DECIDED THAT THIS WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY CHAPTERED FIC????? me. the answer is me. 
> 
> um so yeah comments/kudos are always nice and all that stuff i hope you like this 
> 
> (side note: this was originally a thing i wrote for an English assignment so I just added some more gay and yes, that is what this is.)
> 
> (p.s i have no time for editing so fuck off ik theres too many commas and weird grammar and overall its pretty shit but at least i did something so stfu ur the one who has to read it)

 

 

Dan can feel the wind, ripping viciously at his body, almost like it  _ wanted  _ to throw him off the edge of the cliff. 

 

He could hear his parent’s nagging voice in the back of his head, telling him to stay away from the cliffs during a storm. 

 

But as the wind howled angrily all around him, and the darkened night sky stretching high above him, he knew that there was no other place that he’d rather be. 

 

For the most part, the clouds had dissipated as the sun had gone down, leaving the earth cloaked in the hazy darkness of the night. 

 

When he turns his head towards the galaxy above him, he is momentarily stunned by how breathtaking the stars look. 

 

There was just something about them, that had instantly captured him, ever since he first laid eyes on them, back in fourth grade when he and his family had gotten away from the busy city to go camping. 

 

The stars had been so bright then. He had been entranced, staying up nearly all night to try and catch a rare glimpse of a shooting star, or a far-away planet. 

 

In hindsight, not much had changed. Now, he knew the constellations and locations of all the planets, but the drive to look at them for hours without getting tired or bored had stayed the same. 

 

It was even more magical in the storm, the freezing wind grabbing at him, like it was screaming at him to _ look _ ,  just  _ look  _ around at the universe, the sheer infinite abyss that we somehow managed to live in, courtesy of billions of coincidences. 

 

When he looks up at the stars, the world gets erased, all that’s left is him and the worlds above him. The sadness and fear that always haunted him during the day was gone, the thoughts and the emotions were pulled away until all that was left was  _ him.  _

 

He shudders against the cold, loving it and hating it all at the same time. 

 

“Dan?” Dan hears a familiar soft voice from behind him. He doesn’t even have to turn around to see who it is, because there’s only one person who’d know to look here for him, there’s only one person whose voice could sound so quiet and loud in the same instant. 

 

_ Phil _

 

He hears him stepping closer, then a warm arm being slung around his shoulders as he plops himself down beside Dan. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Dan asked, resting his head on his friend's shoulder. 

 

“Your parents are looking for you.” Phil responds, looking up to the sky, squinting his eyes, trying to connect the stars into their constellations but lacking the ease to which Dan can. 

 

“Ah.” Dan tried to smooth his hair away from his face but the wind just pushes it right back across his eyes. Phil giggles at his attempts, not offering any help. 

 

“The stars are pretty tonight.” Phil prompts, waiting for Dan to launch off into a rant-like speech about all the flaws in society, like he so often did when he switched off his emotions to stare at the un-blanketed universe. 

 

“Yeah.” Dan agrees, watching as a giant rock got caught up in earth’s gravitational pull and get burned up in the atmosphere. He didn’t really believe in wishing on things that couldn't possible change or fix anything, but he sends a silent wish on it anyway. Desperate measures. 

 

He can feel the deadly cloud of an existential crisis coming on, tugging at his sleeve like a friend but would relentlessly suck him in if he let his guard down. 

 

Phil doesn’t mind the silence, they’d spent countless nights up on the cliff before, watching the sky and talking until their voices were raspy and their eyelids were dropping. 

 

Dan’s mind is a mess of thoughts;

They rage around his head and over think themselves into a fit of anxiety, forcing Dan’s eyes away from the stars, looking to Phil for some sort of shelter form his own mind. 

 

“What’s wrong?” Phil asks, upon catching sight of Dan’s stricken face. 

 

“T-The universe… Like, It doesn’t-” Dan breaks off in frustration, wanting to articulate his feeling to his friend, but not being able to find the right words to show how he was feeling. 

 

Phil tightens his grip around his friend, using his free hand to push the hair away from Dan’s eyes, his pale face contrasting greatly with the black hoodie that he wore.

 

“It’s okay, y’know.” Phil states, offering Dan a small smile.

 

“It’s okay for what?” Dan asks, confusion lacing his question. 

 

“To not know. The future is going to come whether we like it or not so why spend time worrying about it?” Phil replies, glancing back up at the stars. 

 

“You reading my mind or something?” Dan laughs, but he isn’t really surprised. Phil had a knack of knowing how Dan was feeling without Dan having to tell him. 

 

“Or something.” Phil says with a smirk.

 

“Mhhh…” Dan hums in agreement, turning his head to face the stars again, trying to allow their beauty to numb the thoughts inside his head. 

 

“Really, it’s inevitable. You can’t change it so just go with it.” Phil says, the serious note in the tone of his voice catching Dan off guard. 

 

“Is it really that easy?” He challenges, “Just ‘go with it’?” 

 

“I mean, you could fight it. But what’s the point? If something bad is going to happen, then there’s really nothing that you can do to stop it.” Phil states clearly. 

 

“So that’s your philosophy on the meaning of life? Just go with it?” Dan says, his mind trying to make sense of what Phil was saying. 

 

“I guess. Like, there’s literally no reason for us to be alive, so why make it harder for ourselves? Let’s just have fun in the short amount of time that we’re here.” Phil actually laughs this time, when he saw the expression on Dan’s face. 

 

“It’s going to be okay.” He giggles, reassuring his friend, “I’m here.” 

 

Dan sighed heavily, but returned Phil’s smile. 

 

Because it was true. No matter how confusing and stressful life seemed, it was inevitable. There was nothing that Dan could do, so he may as well just see where it takes him. Plus, he had Phil. So somehow, maybe, everything would be okay. 

 

Phil let out an airy laugh and pulled Dan into his lap, letting the smaller boy cuddle up into his chest. 

 

Phil kissed the top of his head softly, Dan’s slightly curly brown hair tickling at his cheeks. 

 

“We should go back soon.” Phil murmured a while later, the hits of sunlight hitting the horizon, the stars still there but would fade away into the blue of the atmosphere. 

 

“Mhhh…” Dan hummed, but he didn’t really want to go anywhere. 

 

The wind had slowed, gently lapping at the two boy’s bodies. 

 

“Seriously, Dan. Your parents are going to kill both of us.” Phil said, trying out a serious tone. 

  
  


“Let them try.” Dan snapped, squeezing his eyes shut tight and resting his head in the crook of Phil’s neck. 

 

“Dan…” Phil tried to gently pry the other boy off of him, but Dan just held on tighter. 

 

“Dan, what’s wrong?” Phil asked again, peppering kisses against the side of Dan’s face. Dan hid the thin blush that spread across his cheeks by ducking his head lower. 

 

“Stop asking me what’s wrong.” Dan growed, “Nothing’s wrong.” 

 

“There’s obviously something wrong.” Phil murmured against Dan’s hair, not taking no for an answer. His touch sent shivers through Dan’s whole body. 

 

“I told you already.” Dan sighed after a second, shuffling off Phil’s lap and crossing his legs, turning his face back up towards the rapidly-fading dark sky. 

 

“That’s not it though, is it?” Phil asked, watching Dan’s face closely. 

 

“Why does it even matter to you?” Dan sighed, lying down onto his side, facing away from Phil and towards the now-rising sun. 

 

“Um. Because you’re my friend?” Phil said, the hint of a question in his voice.

 

“Right. You’re my friend who kisses me and makes out with me and hugs me  _ all the time.  _ Really? Just friends, Philly?” Dan snaps, turning his head to glare at Phil. 

 

To this, Phil has the decency to look at least a little bit sad. Or scared, Dan had never been as good at reading Phil’s facial expressions as Phil was at his. 

 

“If the meaning of life is to be happy,” Dan continues, “Then why is it that the very thing that is making me the most happy I’ve been in a  _ long  _ time, is also the thing that is literally tearing me apart and making me question  _ everything?! _ ” 

 

Phil, to say the least, is stunned into silence. 

 

But Dan wasn’t done talking. 

 

“If you care so much about me, then why do you make me feel like this? Why, Phil? I just wanted to be normal and happy and then you came along, and I mean, arguably, you make me really fucking happy, but then you turn around and kiss me and then leave like it was nothing!” Dan gasped out, feeling tears sting his eyes. 

 

Phil looked lost. 

 

Dan had never seen Phil look so  _ lost.  _

 

Phil was supposed to be the one who was always there, no matter what. He was supposed to stay strong and safe. He was supposed to know what would fix the bad things. He wasn’t supposed to look so  _ lost.  _

 

“I…. Um…” But Phil couldn’t form a proper sentence. The words got all choked up in his throat and refused to let themselves he heard. 

 

Dan almost regretted his words.

 

_ Almost.  _

 

He hauled himself to his feet, no use in staying beneath the fading stars with a person who’d only end up leaving him in the long run. 

 

The grass-covered ground was thick with dew and soaked through Dan’s edgy zippy shoes almost instantly. 

 

He tugged his jacket more securely around his shoulders and ducked his head, his hands finding their way to his pockets. 

 

“Dan, wait. Dan!” He could hear Phil calling after him, his voice nearly getting swallowed up by the stillness of the thin early morning air. 

 

He can hear Phil’s footsteps trailing after him, 

 

“Dan!” He heard him call again. 

 

Dan had to almost  _ force  _ his feet to keep walking. His body and mind screamed at him to stay, to wait for Phil, to hear what Phil had to say. 

 

But the stupid stubborn part of him urged him to just keep  _ walking.  _

 

But, fortunately for all who were involved, the stupid fucked-up stubborn part of his brain did not overrule his body and mind. 

 

His footsteps slowed to a stop and he turned, facing the desperate-looking Phil. 

 

“Dan… I…” He still seemed lost for words. 

 

But Dan waited, just as Phil had waited for him countless times during the time they had known each other. 

 

“I-I…. I l-love you.” Phil finally managed to say, his voice breaking at the end. 

 

Dan gulped. 

 

_ I love you.  _

 

Those were big words. 

  
Those words meant a lot. 

 

Those were the words of someone who wanted to be in it for the long run. 

 

Were they lies? Could he be deceiving Dan? Maybe he was just using Dan? 

 

Phil’s eyes stayed trained on Dan’s face, watching as his expression stiffened up, turning from surprise to confusion to relief in mere seconds. 

 

Dan felt himself reaching forwards for Phil, slipping his hands around his waist and pulling him closer. He felt Phil’s breath of relief against his neck as he accepted the hug, melting into it and holding on to it as tightly as he could. 

 

Phil was everywhere, all around him. 

 

He felt safe. He felt like a 3am conversation and a heated makeout session and a gentle breeze brushing over the treetops. 

 

Before Dan’s mind could convince him not to, he whispered it back, 

 

“I love you, too.” 

 

And felt, with some hope, as Phil’s grip tightened even more. 

 

The sun was rising, and to anyone who was hiking on the mountain during the early morning, the sight would look insanely strange, two teenage boys, one with black hair and stunning blue eyes, the other with soft brown hair and fire-ey brown eyed, holding onto each-other like a lifeline. 

 

The wind wasn’t ripping at them anymore. 

 

It was softly brushing past them, pushing them closer together and smiling as the black-haired boy finally pulled away just enough to press his lips against the other’s. 

 

Fin~

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> hi did u like that 
> 
>  
> 
> pls leave comments and kudos i crave validation


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